President Obama is expected to sign orders that would transfer the inmates to Devil's Island. Poland offered the use of Auschwitz, but the offer was declined as having too many negative connotations.
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President Obama ordered the White House background music changed from Country & Western to Elevator Upbeat, calling it "a clean break from business as usual."
Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. re-administered the oath to President Obama after he stumbled over the words, "…the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God." The re-run was recommended by the Freudian Psychoanalytic Association whose spokeswoman, Gilda Hasenpfefferl, said the stumbled version left one with the Geschmack [contextual Viennese for "aroma"] that Presidents lie.
The new administration has to choose between slow genocide advocated by the UN Human Rights Commission and the accelerated version preferred by AIPAC.