"War: first, one hopes to win; then one expects the enemy to lose; then, one is satisfied that he too is suffering; in the end, one is surprised that everyone has lost. Karl Kraus, Die Fackel (The Torch), p. 174, vol XIX, Vienna, 9 October, 1917. (This journal was published by Kraus, a leading satirist in the German language, from 1899 to 1936).

Still Shilling For Bush's War

he appended page is a satire on a story in today's Times. The front page lead to the story is in the upper left column and is reproduced verbatim as it appeared on the front page of the on-line edition of the Times at about 10 AM Eastern Daylight Time.

It appears to me to be a transparent attempt by this shill for the US ruling elite to report, and simultaneously to reinterpret as a sign of the imminent defeat of the indigenous resistance to the US invasion of Iraq, the on-going phenomenon of suicide attacks. It is a measure of the morality of the US ruling elite and this willing shill that it and they believe that the successful destruction of the Iraqi resistance will expunge their war crimes.

Everything else on the page is satire, which is one possible response to this monumentally bloody and enduring hypocrisy.

OTTO

P.S. The only link in the satire which works is the one in the last paragraph of the picture caption.

Saturday, July 5, 2008 Despair Drives Suicide Attacks by Iraqi Women By ALISSA J. RUBIN In Diyala Province, a trend of bombings by women may be due partly to successes in fighting a terrorist group. Complete Coverage » C.I.A. Lays Out Errors It Made Before Sept. 11 By MARK As-UNREAL A long time ago George Tenet, the agency's former director, failed to prepare fully for the threat of Al Qaeda, a report said. Text: Report Summary (pdf) Text: Tenet's Statement  Video | More from the Lede Ironical Chronicle graphic Mike McConnell, Director of National Intelligence and former senior V.P. of Booz Allen Hamilton, Inc., (NASDAQ: BOOZAH) taking the oath before testifying before the Editorial Board of the New York Times, Inc. After clearing up the misunderstanding about whether shilling for war criminals is itself a war crime, Mike informed the editors of a new secret weapon in the War On Terror: Feminine Despair Enhancement and Audiometric Devolution (FDEAD). The new weapon, known to insiders as "dead female," is an impressive innovation developed by Mike's former employer and is the result of a multi-billion dollar defense research project. Mike cited this as an outstanding, but not untypical example of the fruitful collaboration between government and free enterprise solving the world's problems. Eschewing the advanced science which underlies the new weapon, Mike said it was the result of a fortuitous synergism between a newly discovered remote brain wave detector and the discovery by scientists in the new field of social anthropology working at the Guantanamo Humane Conservancy Center that terrorists generate greater than normal brain wave intensity. The precise cause of this excess brain wave intensity is still under investigation, but those closest to the research speculate that it is caused by the subject's hatred of our democratic institutions. Support for this hypothesis comes from a recent scan of a session of the US Congress, a zone of high concentration of love of our democratic institutions, which showed up as a black hole of brain wave activity. Combining these discoveries with NASA's planetary mapping technology has enabled the CIA to map concentrations of terrorists. The icing on the cake came from the new field of psychosonics. Despite initial skepticism, the psychosonic scientists were able to demonstrate that playing the US national anthem at 1776 decibels on volunteer subjects created an irresistible urge toward self-destruction that was unique to non-American women. Mike's own modest contribution to FDEAD was the realization that without females, the terrorist community would become extinct within the half-life of the Petraeus-McCain Surge. Responding to a question about possible concerns from the feminist community, Mike said this was not an issue because the FDEAD program is managed by the CIA's Directorate of Science and Technology which is headed by Stephanie L. O’Sullivan. Intelligence Chief Unveils New Wonder Weapon By CAVÉ CREDULOUS and GRAHAM GULLIBLE Not too long ago Initial successes cited. Steer Manure Rises Above 500 in Brisk Trading Two Times Reporters Clueless Incomplete Coverage » C.I.A. Plans Printout of Lies It Told Before and After Sept. 11 By MARK MYWORD Pretty recent Head of Government Printing Office says not enough trees in Oregon to supply paper needed. Weyerhaeuser stock hits new high on Wall Street. Bush Pleads Ignorance (pdf) Times Reporter Clueless  Video | See Tenet Grovel